Why Are Parental Control Apps Bad?

A parental control app is almost the equivalent of spy software. At least, this is how my kids see it. Here’s how you can avoid losing your child’s trust.

Parental controls apps are bad if they come with lazy parenting. The use of these apps without the understanding and cooperation of a child can be toxic. Parental controls apps can be a privacy invasion, cause anxiety, and diminish self-esteem. Therefore, parents must take extra steps to preserve the child’s trust.

This article will cover:

• The Benefits
• The Adverse Effects
• The Pros and Cons
• The Takeaway

In today’s digital media world, protecting our kids from cyberbullies and other online threats seems to be unmanageable. Therefore, many software companies have come up with solutions like parental control apps. These apps’ mission is to help parents monitor their children online. Parental control apps enable you to monitor your children’s screen activity while also blocking and filtering toxic online content.  

Uncertain about which parental control app to get? Take a look at this list of the best parental control apps. I have put lots of hours into this guide, and you’ll find the ideal app for your family!

However, these apps are an imperfect solution for busy parents who do not get (or take) the time to monitor their children’s online activities. Has a parent myself, I understand how hard it can get to manage work and family responsibilities side by side. This is why I also considered using a parental control app.

The advantages of parental controls are understandable, but it is impossible to deny their disadvantages, like undermining trust. 

I truly believe you should have the full picture before using one of these apps. 

The Benefits of Parental Control Apps

It would be silly to undervalue the benefits of parental controls. These are great solutions to prevent children from getting exposed to the widespread inappropriate content of the internet. 

For example, parental control apps keep your children from sharing their information online, spending money, or making plans with strangers across the web. These apps happen to be quite helpful and can even block your child’s access to the web and apps as per schedule. Furthermore, parental controls also help monitor inappropriate posting across chats, social media, and other online platforms.

Many studies have supported that kids are at significant risk of making irrational decisions because their brain parts responsible for decision-making are underdeveloped. One stupid mistake, especially on the internet, can be enough to ruin their lives. Therefore, it’s critical to monitor your child’s online activities.

The Need for Parental Controls

Identity theft and cyber harassment prove that the internet can be a dark and dangerous place for kids. Almost every week, we hear news of kids getting subjected to cyberbullying or victimized by cyber predators. Incidents like these make me think about my child’s safety and the need for parental control software.

What worries me, even more is the idea of the internet being a discrete world for children, which offers them the opportunity of being whatever they want to be without letting anyone know. The possibility that my child has a separate life away from my eyes is very frightening. I believe, therefore, parental control apps cover the basic need for parents looking to keep their children safe online and offline.

How Many Parents Use Parental Control?

It is essential to give your child some privacy and space, but that shouldn’t come with the cost of your child’s safety. According to a survey conducted by oxford students, 39% of parents use parental control apps to filter, block and monitor their children’s online activities. Whereas 16% use parental controls to keep their children off screens. Similarly, 61% of parents check their child’s web history, 60% use it to monitor social media profiles, and 48% review their child’s calls and texts through this medium.

The Adverse Effects of Parental Controls

Parental control software certainly gives parents peace of mind. Still, for kids, these apps take away their privacy and right to freedom. Here are some ways in which parental controls affect your child.

What Do Studies Suggest?

Several studies have shown that excessive Internet use affects a child’s brain, emotional and social development. But another study carried by The University of Central Florida indicated that usage of parental control apps greatly affected the quality of relationships among families. I reckon that this mistrust in the relationship can harm my child more than the inappropriate content itself.

In another study, parental control apps were found to be having adverse effects on children as well. For instance, constant monitoring and restrictions affected their creativity, ability to respond to online threats, and problem-solving skills.

The Types of Parents

A couple of studies examined the types of parents who used parental controls on their teen’s personal devices and studied how much it actually helped those teens staying safe? They learned that the app was most prevalent among authoritative parents who did not care much about their child’s freedom and privacy. The results also showed that these apps’ use did not make their children any less prone to online risks. In fact, it added more to them.

Direct supervision and parental involvement help parents keep their teens safer online rather than relying on parental control apps alone. Moreover, it would be too soon to conclude if parental controls offered more side effects than benefits. I believe that instead of taking my child’s freedom away and jeopardizing our relationship, we should empower teens to keep themselves safe from the online world.

How Do Kids Feel About Parental Controls?

79% percent of the reviews on apps are written by children, and they are either 2 stars or less, which points out their frustration and discontent with the medium. A study found that the two main reasons children hated parental control apps were, being too restrictive and invading personal privacy. In the comments section under the apps, some teens and young children said that these apps were way too restrictive that they could not even complete their homework most of the time. And other said that they would rather have an open talk than being stalked by their parents.

The Danger of Fear

Parent’s tendency to get highly anxious very quickly causes them to become even more narrow-minded towards their children. Hence, they forget that this harshness can damage their child’s social development and problem-solving skills. Parents need to understand that their children need these coping mechanisms for future life or not handle their problems later in life.

Parental Control Apps Can Undermine Trust

No matter how attractive and valuable these apps may seem to you, they can cost you a lot more in real life. For instance, your child might start feeling that you do not trust them and end up not trusting you either. 

There’s also a chance that you might end up negatively influencing your child’s capability to make intelligent choices and owning up to their mistakes.

Moreover, harsh monitoring and austerity may force our children to look for ways to deceive us. Which may cause both you and your children to mistrust each other for the rest of your lives. 

So, having an open conversation about your concerns and how you want your children to stay away from age-inappropriate content can help you both foster a relationship of trust and security. This will also strengthen the bond between you and your children, for they will know that they can trust you and will try their best not to betray your trust as well.

The Pros and Cons Of Parental Controls

Here’s a list of pros and cons that can make your decision about choosing a parental control app easy:

Pros

• Let’s block inappropriate content across the web.
• Allows you to go through your child’s personal chat and spot any signs of bullying or suicide.
• Helps you see app activity and set app limit across each app, to limit screen time across social apps.

Cons

• You could end up losing your child’s trust and vice versa.
• Your child wouldn’t appreciate his privacy invasion and might try to get rid of the parental controls altogether.
• Your child might find a way to get around the parental controls through the use of VPN or other apps.
• Your child won’t tell you upon getting into trouble online for fear of punishment.

Kids Can Find Ways Around Parental Controls

Being the intelligent and curious creatures’ kids are, they will find a way to fool you into thinking that you are monitoring them. Let us suppose for a second that your kid finds a way to bypass the restrictions that you put their phone through; what do you think will happen next? They will probably become even more secretive about their online activities and conversations, leading to a significant incident. This is why I had to make this decision wisely, or I could end up losing too much by acting ignorantly and emotionally.

What Should Parents Do

The fact is that technology cannot replace parenting, and at some point, you will have this conversation, so why not now? Tell your children clearly what is inappropriate for their age and what boundaries you would not allow them to cross in any circumstance. Coming from my personal experience, children appreciate honesty and trust. If they feel that you trust them, they will try their best not to betray your trust.

I did keep my child safe while letting him enjoy his privacy was to set age-appropriate limits on the apps themselves. Many apps like YouTube and Google allow parents to filter age-inappropriate content on the apps. Also, I had a detailed conversation with my kid on why I put these filters across the apps and what will happen if he tries to change them without letting me know.

The Takeaway

Understandably, parents want to keep their children safe from any physical and online threats. But this is also the right time to lay a foundation of trust and love in your relationship. 

Just like you wouldn’t like your parents to invade your privacy, your children wouldn’t appreciate that either. But that does not mean that you shall trust them blindly and let them do whatever they want to do. Instead, teach them the ethics of using online platforms and understand why it is necessary to keep things private online. Our kids are more intelligent than we were; I am sure they will understand and cooperate. 

I would like to end this post by saying that parental control is a controversial topic, and no answer is correct. So, make your own educated choice as I did.